I'm Drained...

Poor Joshua :(
Well we are back at the hospital a lot lately and it is very, very draining!! As soon as I get my baby home and settled, I feel like we are having to battle to keep it!
Last Monday Joshua had blood tests done to check his bili level. When he left the hospital it was a little hi so they are watching it closely. The Doctor thinks that Joshua developed liver disease in the NICU because he was on Hyperal so long. If this is the true reason why he has liver problems then it would slowly go away on its own. For some reason though Joshua's bili is going up instead of down. And Monday's tests results verified this. So when we went to see the Specialist on Wed. he decided to start Joshua on a lot of different medicine, and run a bunch of more tests on him. So all day Wed. and pretty much all day Thur. we were back at the hospital having tests done. AGGGGG!!!!!! Talk about miserable!!
We have a lot more scheduled next week and then we go back to see the dr. for the reports the week after next. His Dr. is hoping the tests results will show us something so he won't have to go in and take a biopsy of the liver. Even though this is a minor surgery we are praying that Joshua will not have to have this done.
Another thing the doctor's have been worried about is he had only gained a couple of oz. in two weeks, and they were wanting him to have gained a couple oz. a day. So when we went back on Wednesday to get the news about his billi, we also received news that not only had he not gained weight this week, but he had lost all the weight he had gained since he left the hospital. Therefore, the Dr. is having us add Progestimill to his donor milk. I have already been VERY frustrated this past week with the nursing/pumping thing and trying to get my milk in. I mean it has been 15weeks and my milk is still not in!!!!!!! I am just so tired!!!!!!! Then, for the Dr. to tell me that we have to do both formula and the donor breast milk was the straw that broke the camels back.. I really went into 'depressed mode' about it. Why is everything so difficult!!! Please just keep me in your prayers because I am simply not ready to give up yet, and at the same time I am very exhausted!!
Although, we have a busy week at the hospital next week I hope it is a better week then this last one. I can't take another week like last week or I will have a mental breakdown! Seriously people!!!! I REALLY need a date night, so My Sweet Husband is taking me out tomorrow night for some fresh air! :) We have been advised by Joshua's doctors to keep him inside the home until RSV season is up, so we have done just that(other than the dr.apts and hospital visits), and I am starting to go MAD stuck in this house all the time!!!! Thank goodness I have Gavyn to make me laugh and keep me entertained and Joshua to keep me on toes and make my day's go by fast!!
Ok- Thanks for letting me VENT!